


We've Built a Wreck Out of Me

by velvethood (orphan_account)



Series: I Walk The Line [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Library, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Ashton owns the coffee shop, BASICALLY everything lmao, Blow Jobs, Calum is the library boy, Come Eating, Comeplay, Dirty Talk, Domestic, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Luke is the sweet mediating barista, M/M, Mashlum, Michael is an illustrator, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Rimming, Threesome - M/M/M, it's all v cute again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:36:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/velvethood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“And um, you know how grateful I am for you both. You’re… you’re everything to me.” Michael whispers, staring down at his lap. He feels fingers pulling at his hand, trying to loosen his tight fist. He sees a brown, tattooed hand lacing with his own and lets their fingers entwine. “I love you both so much.”</p><p>“But?” Ashton questions, leaning over so his own large hand can cup their entwined fingers.</p><p>“There is no but.” Michael says. “I just love you both a whole fucking lot.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I keep you on my mind both day and night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me a million years to write but it's finally done. thanks to everyone who listened to me moan like a baby about it, and thanks to everyone who has been excited about this, i love you all! you're the reason i still write <3333 second part should be up soonish xxx
> 
> title from oh calamity by all time low again bc i'm a sucker for motifs

Michael huffs miserably as he erases yet another hastily drawn set of eyes. It’s not long before he decides the paper is too messy anyway, pulls the entire page out of his new sketchbook and throws it over his shoulder. 

That’s all he’s been doing lately, huffing at poorly executed outlines of characters he hasn’t created yet and it’s beyond frustrating now. It’s just sad. He’s sad and he’s agitated, torn between giving up and fearing that the next drawing might be the one. It hasn’t been the one the last 30 times he’s started again, and he’s almost positive the next attempt isn’t going to be the one either. He drops his pencil and leans back, stretches and clicks out the kinks in his body from sitting hunched over for too long.

He doesn’t feel the warm presence or hear sock covered footsteps padding towards him until the person is right behind his back. His shoulders automatically relax even before the large, gentle hand settles at the base of his neck, pressing carefully. Michael already knows it’s Ashton in a split second before he felt the hand, but knows for definite now from the calming circles being drawn as the hand slips underneath the neck of his jumper.

“You’re going to wear yourself out, Mikey.” Ashton says, lets his thumb circle the tense muscles in his neck. Michael shivers, leans in for more. 

“I sti- still can’t get anything out.” The younger man whispers, biting nervously at his lip. He hates confessing it out loud. He’s embarrassed although it’s silly, because this is _Ashton_.

The older man lets his fingers tickle up to the wispy hairs at the back of Michael’s neck. He sighs like he always does, as if he’s sharing Michael’s pain. Michael already knows Ashton wishes he could do more, and keeps trying to find ways to make Michael’s heart a little less heavy; he’s genuinely grateful. “That’s okay, it’s not always going to flow out of your fingertips.”

“But I need it to. This deadline is getting closer and closer and I’m getting nowhere.” Michael retorts, picking up the pencil and tapping it against the desk. It slips from his fingertips and clatters to the floor, and Michael looks at it like it’s his own personal enemy. Ashton sighs again.

“Maybe you need a break.” Ashton suggests, and Michael’s heard him say that at least a dozen times in the last couple of days. “At least for today. You’ve been sat here for too long. Calum’s already in bed.”

“Okay, I’m just gonna do anoth-”

“Mikey.” Ashton whines, his tone defeated. Michael doesn’t know why he sounds so tired. He’s not the one _suffering_. 

“Ash.” Michael throws back, eyes challenging. He knows he shouldn’t be getting defensive, but he’s so wired. He’s having the worst block he’s ever experienced. It’s come after a bout of work, the most he’s ever experienced in a row. The last 7 months have been so incredible but more than a little hectic. And now he’s finding himself stuck for ideas, not wanting to be boring and repetitive. Mr. Feldmann is on his case, trying not to worry him out but stressing the importance of him getting at least some sort of draft to him as soon as possible, but Michael can’t stop staring down at smudged canvas and the scrunched up balls of paper on the floor behind him.

He sighs and pushes back on the wheelie chair, wishing it was wooden so it could scrape across the floor and he could make a scene. It’s not though, and it’s like Ashton can read his thoughts because he gives him this look, exasperated but fond, and happy Michael has taken his hand to lead the way out of the study. 

He follows Ashton to the bedroom and sees Calum, as usual, already tucked in with a book. The dark haired man smiles as they enter and puts his book on his lap. Michael can’t help it, because Calum always looks strikingly beautiful in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, and goes to kiss him hello. They haven’t really spoken since Calum got home from work and Michael was far too in the zone, and he pulls away hesitantly to get ready for bed in the bathroom. Ashton joins him not too soon after, brushing their teeth in sync, and when they’re done Ashton takes his hand again and lets Michael climb in first to sleep in the middle.

Calum is still sitting up but Michael doesn’t mind, lets his head rest on the feather soft pillow beneath him and presses a kiss to Calum’s bare hip. Michael also stripped his clothes, and he feels cosy as the sheets brush his skin.

“You okay?” Calum asks, letting a hand settle into Michael’s hair. He rakes through it softly, mussing it up. Michael huffs but nods, even though he’s really not convincing anyone before pressing himself back a little so he can feel Ashton closer. He feels an arm snake over his waist and he breathes out in content.

“Only if you’re sure.” Calum says, and Michael knows it’s probing him to talk but he doesn’t want to right now, overcome with exhaustion. He hears whispered singing above his head but doesn’t catch what it is as he falls asleep minutes after, curled back against Ashton, the bedside lamp still on and Calum’s hand still in his hair.

***

Michael is not okay when he wakes up hours later in cold sweat. He’s startled, gasping quietly but both boys are still asleep. He tries not to move much, but being in the middle it’s practically impossible and he’s roasting between them. He’s shivering too, and feels a drop of sweating rolling down his bare back. 

Usually Calum sleeps heavier, so he pulls the duvet off him with hopes he’ll stay asleep. The man starts sniffling, nose twitching as his body adjusts to the temperature but Michael climbs out and tucks him back in before he can wake up, and his body settles again.

When he leaves the room, Michael stares at the blank canvas paper on the kitchen table, remembering how he’d spent all day in different corners of the house looking for inspiration. It reminds him suddenly of his cold sweats, and he needs to get out of the house. He finds a shirt hanging off the couch, knows it’s Ashton’s because it sits too high on his waist. He grips the hem, finding comfort in Ashton’s faux presence.

By the time he’s pulled on his shoes and jacket, keys in hand he’s halfway out of the front door when he hears a voice call his name. He’d maybe not been as quick as he’d thought, and had managed to rouse Calum from his sleep getting out of the bed. Or maybe Calum eventually realised he was gone.

Either way, he pretends not to hear anything and shuts the door gently, walking away from the house and his boys.

His mind is on overdrive as he walks aimlessly. The sun hasn’t started to come up yet so it can’t be later than 4am, but Michael can’t even begin to think about potential safety issues in their neighbourhood. He’s stressed from work but on top of that, Michael feels stranger and stranger every day that passes that he hasn’t told his parents about his boyfriends. And although Ashton and Calum assure him it’s okay, he can see their eyes dim every time he leaves the room to speak to his mum, or ignores their skype calls when he’s over at their house.

He wants to be like everyone else and he wants to brag and he wants to squeeze their faces in the shot when he’s talking to his mum. He wants them to smile and steal the phone when she calls so they can tell her how Michael burnt the eggs again when he fell asleep on the counter.

He feels like he’s ashamed even though he _knows_ he’s not. The circumstances are just different. He’s worried what she’ll say, and that’s only natural but he doesn’t want to be worried anymore. The worry is what is waking him up in cold sweats after dreams of nothing he can ever remember. He only remembers waking up feeling lonely and unloved. 

Michael spends the entire walk trying to convince himself it’s not true, that there are two people waiting for him at home who would do anything for him, and are probably worried sick by his disappearance.

When he gets home an hour later Calum is back in bed, but the gap in the middle where Michael fell asleep isn’t there anymore. Calum is tucked right into Ashton, and Michael feels his chest tighten when he turns to head towards the study he left not even 5 hours ago.

“Michael.” He hears his name and jumps a little, alarmed with wide eyes when he turns around to find Calum leaning up a little, face soft. Calum only ever calls him Michael when it’s serious. “Come to bed.” Calum manages to look imposing even in tiredness, and Michael’s about to argue because he’s really not sleepy, but Calum already knows this and gets there first. “Please.”

He nods, defeated for the second time and follows Calum’s stare to the edge of the bed. He pulls the top he stole earlier off, keeping his sweatpants on and allows himself to snuggle into Calum’s waiting arms. It’s always an overwhelming feeling knowing that nights like this happen and he still has willing arms to hold him, even when he isn’t worthy of it. 

“Bad dream again?” Calum asks after a few minutes. Michael knew he was still awake but he’s surprised to hear his voice.

“Yeah.” Michael whispers, voice cracking. Calum nods a few times and kisses his temple in comfort. He knows it means ‘don’t worry, I’m here now, go back to sleep’ which are words he’s heard him and Ashton say the few times this has happened recently. He knows they mean it, but he still worries. And it’s daunting when Calum’s breathing levels off into slumber, and it doesn’t calm him enough to follow. 

The sun is starting to come up by the time a restless sleep takes over his body.

***

Michael knows he’s getting worse and worse every day. His attitude, his motivation, his belief in his abilities. He knows he’s absolutely zero fun to be around. He genuinely can’t help it though; these overwhelming feelings of insecurity that are taking over. He feels lost in his head despite the fact that Ashton and Calum are trying to keep his spirits up, and they keep asking to come over since he hasn’t been by for days. He can’t even remember the last proper meal he ate. But he’s so short-tempered and hates himself for being so callous to them, especially since they don’t deserve it at all. Every time Calum’s face drops when he snaps at him Michael feels less and less like a decent human being. They’re only trying to make him smile and feel less anxious, but everything is leaving him agitated. He feels like he’s on overdrive.

But either way, Michael knows he needs to soothe things over so he heads to the coffee shop. He knows Calum’s on his break so he’ll almost definitely be there, and he needs to see them both. He wants to cuddle them at the same time in front of everyone, especially Luke who definitely sick of them. He can’t wait.

“Hey baby.” Michael drawls, and Ashton chuckles as he presses a chaste kiss to Michael’s jaw over the counter. Michael _adores_ that Ashton is a smidgen smaller than him, and has to lean up to him and Calum a little for kisses. It’s one of his favourite things.

“Hey, how’s your morning been?” Ashton asks, taking out a white chocolate muffin and a lemon cake slice from the glass covered stand on the counter.

“Unproductive.” Michael hopes his tone is dismissive, waves his hand around because he doesn’t really want to talk about it. “Where’s Cal?”

“Spending his break in the shop, apparently someone’s messed up the shelving again. Don’t you ever read the group chat?”

Luke makes his presence known as he comes out from the back, a snort leaving him. “As if you guys have a group chat.” He retorts, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.

Michael throws him a faux dirty look, leaning on the counter towards Ashton but staring Luke in the eyes. “Aw, I wanted to snuggle you both in front of Luke.” Luke fake gags at Michael’s comment, cleaning the coffee machines while there are no customers.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better, babe.” Ashton laughs, but his voice is sincere, laced with complete affection and Michael’s heart swells. He’s so full of love for his boy.

“Me too.” Michael says, before moving to the end of the front counter so he’s no longer in the way of customers.

He spends the next few minutes staring at Ashton’s back as he marks stock on the products, checking what needs to be refilled. Michael is kind of embarrassed that he’s happy enough to do this all day, but not enough to stop. He’s shocked out of staring at Ashton’s thighs when Luke’s voice rings out, much closer than before. There are still no customers when he looks up, and Luke stares at him expectantly while Michael replays what Luke said. “Were you sick?”

When Michael takes too long to reply, Ashton’s voice fills the void. “No, he’s just being emo.” He laughs, but Michael doesn’t duplicate.

“Shu- I wasn’t being emo.” Michael responds, the comment getting a reaction out of Michael much quicker. It’s a small punch to his gut.

Ashton seems to realise he’s struck a nerve from the offended tone of Michael’s voice. He turns around, watching Michael carefully. “I was kidding Mikey.” 

“My block isn’t a joke.” Michael mumbles, embarrassed to be having this conversation in front of Luke. Even though he’s basically in a relationship with him too, since they see each other every single day. He knows Luke isn’t judging, that Luke probably knows as well as Ashton and Calum do what a wreck he’s been recently.

“I was joking, babe. You know how much I love your work and you know I’m always supportive of you. Especially now.” Ashton’s voice is soft now, like he’s talking to a scared child and Michael hates it, refrains from rolling his eyes.

“But that was insensitive.”

“Don’t be upset Mike, come on. You’re the king of casual teasing.” Luke insists jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“And you’re both dicks.” Michael knows it’s uncalled for, but he feels ganged up on and his automatic mode is to put up walls. He doesn’t need to, these are his favourite people in the world along with Calum, and Michael can just see his sad disapproving brown eyes. He’s disappointed in himself.

“Mikey,” Ashton starts but Michael’s already turning away, more embarrassed than annoyed, and frustrated at himself for being so melodramatic about teasing he’s endured since the day he stepped foot into the shop. Now he’s leaving knowing they’re probably watching him go. Ashton is probably confused, even hurt, and he can imagine Luke leading him away to the back to tide it over. He feels ridiculous.

***

Michael texts Ashton and Luke not even an hour later, apologising for being such an emotional mess. He’s freaking himself out even more than he’s sure he’s freaking them all, and he really needs to sort it out.

Luke replies with a smiley face and an apology of his own, promises of a large hot chocolate waiting for him when he next comes into the shop.

Ashton replies with only _i love you._ and it hurts Michael more than it warms him.

He really needs to sort his shit out.

***

It takes deliberation for days before he decides he needs to go home. He always does this, runs back to his house with his mum and dad when things get too tough, but it’s the only way he knows how to cope. 

He knows even more that he’s got another two set of arms waiting for him when this happens. They’re more than willing to look after him when he can’t cope, they’ve assured him of that countless times but Michael doesn’t listen to reason, and his mum’s arms seem to be the only place that makes sense right now.

When he drives over to his common residence it’s nearly 10 at night, and he knows his boys will be home because they have work tomorrow. It kills him that he’s finally going over after more than a week of their begging, only to share news that he knows they won’t love.

Ashton opens the door, and Michael doesn’t know what his own face is portraying because Ashton’s drops sadly before going blank. His voice is still gentle when he welcomes him in, Michael’s name dripping off his tongue like honey, and it makes Michael want to stay here forever. 

Calum hops off the couch to meet them in the middle, but stops when he looks between their faces.

“What is it?” He says, voice sharp, and Michael doesn’t want them going into this already fired up.

“Can we sit down please?” Michael asks. His own voice sounds pitiful.

“Sit down?” Calum asks, and it’s a little incredulous, like that is the least important thing he can think of right now, but he takes a deep breath and does it anyway. Ashton follows, sitting beside him on the end of the couch, and Michael walks around so he’s on the opposite end. There’s a bit of divide, because Calum’s already leaning back into Ashton like he’s seeking comfort, like he knows what Michael is here to do.

“I, uh.” Michael starts, glancing over at the TV when he feels the weight of their gazes are too much. It’s one of those historical British dramas, the one’s that Calum pretends he’s not interested in but watches weekly anyway. He breathes out, wills himself not to get distracted. “These last few weeks have been a little rough.”

“They have.” Ashton drawls, and it’s a little cold to Michael but it sounds like he’s willing him to continue.

“And um, you know how grateful I am for you both. You’re… you’re everything to me.” Michael whispers, staring down at his lap. He feels fingers pulling at his hand, trying to loosen his tight fist. He sees a brown, tattooed hand lacing with his own and lets their fingers entwine. “I love you both so much.”

“But?” Ashton questions, leaning over so his own large hand can cup their entwined fingers.

“There is no but.” Michael says. “I just love you both a whole fucking lot.”

“So why did you come in looking like the world was about to end?” There’s a laugh on the end of Ashton’s question, but Michael doesn’t return it, just shrugs.

“I’m, um, I think I’m going back to my parents for a bit.” Michael whispers, like if he says it quieter it’ll lessen the impact.

“Oh.” Calum says, and the same time that Ashton retorts “so there is a but?”

Michael pulls his hand away from their hold as he runs it through white blonde hair. He struggles to get the right words out. “It’s not like that, I need to get out of the city for a bit.” 

“Right.” Ashton says again, nodding his head slowly like he’s trying to make sense of the words.

“I don’t know what else to say.” Michael mutters, frowning when both boys look away from him and the silence gets too thick. He’s tired of feeling like this.

Ashton shrugs. “Michael, you don’t need to defend it. We get it.” 

“Then please don’t look like that.”

“Like what?” Calum replies, voice sharp. Michael can’t help the stuttered breath that leaves him because Calum has never, not even once, used that tone of voice towards him. His face softens when he looks at Michael, eyes dropping to his lap. “It just feels like we can never help you. And it sucks. We’ve tried but you’re obviously at your last straw. We’re allowed to be sad.”

“It’s just a change of scenery, I’ll be back soon. I think it’ll help being at home.” And Michael knows there’s nothing specifically wrong with what he says, but it’s clearly the wrong thing to say. Calum flinches a little when the words leave his mouth. _Home._

“Home.” Calum nods slowly, just like Ashton did and Michael usually loves that their mannerisms are so similar but right now it only makes him sadder. “Okay. When will you be back from _home_.”

Michael winces at Calum’s dig, shrugs again. “I don’t know.” 

“When are you leaving?” Calum’s voice is a little higher, like he’s being pulled at the end of his tether, and Michael doesn’t know when he’s leaving but he thinks if he shrugs again Calum might snap. He really, really doesn’t want that.

“Probably in the morning.” He mumbles, wringing his hands together. Michael’s worried he might snap first.

“God, Michael. Are you at least staying tonight?” The younger boys voice is just weak now, and Michael feels like shit.

He hesitates. He’s about to say that he can if they want him, which he already knows is an absolutely ridiculous thing to think but the damage is done. Calum turns away with a tense nod, and Michael can see the hurt pouring out of him.

“Cal.” Michael’s voice breaks, and the dark haired boys head snaps round.

“What do you want me to say? Stay? Beg you not to go?” Calum fires, eyebrows raised in questioning.

“That’s not fair.” Michael whispers, because it’s not. He’s only wants to do what’s best.

“Of course it’s not fair. You not giving us a chance to help you isn’t fair either.” Calum whispers, grabbing back Michael’s hand.

“Guys stop, please.” Ashton says, his voice tired. It’s like they’re both reminded that he’s even there, and Michael heart stops and sinks to his stomach as Calum drops his hand and he watches the man practically crawl on top of Ashton. He buries his face in his neck, the way he does on those days when he’s especially sad and needs the comfort of being caged in. He ignores the fact that he’s usually there too, crowding in to make Calum feels safe, rubbing his back and pressing kisses into soft hair.

“You can’t run away every time things get too hard here.” Ashton says gently, chin settled on top of Calum’s head. He’s looking at Michael with eyes the younger man can’t read.

Michael wants to respond with _why can’t I_ but he knows it won’t help, and Calum’s not even looking at him anymore. He doesn’t want to make it worse. “I’ll go. I- I’m sorry.”

Michael leaves without so much as a proper goodbye and tries to play down the ache in his chest. He knows he’s breaking them too but he doesn’t know any other way to go about this, and he hopes they still love him and can give him the time he needs to sort things out for himself. 

***

“It’s been three days Michael. When are you going to come out of that room?” Michael hears his mother ask from behind him. He can just see Karen, leaning against the doorframe arms crossed but still with that amused look on her face.

Michael won’t deny it; he’s definitely been a nuisance. He’s holed himself up in the guest room of the house and spread his art tools everywhere; the bed, the floor, and is using the desk and lamp to draw late into the night. When he’s done, he heads back to his childhood bedroom and sleeps until late into the afternoon where he starts again.

While the change of scenery has definitely been good for his head and even his work, he still hasn’t created anything concrete to take to Mr. Feldmann. He’s got about a week left before the client is really going to come down on him, and he honestly doesn’t want it to come to that. He’s a little more positive in mindset but he doesn’t want to feel like this entire trip back home was for nothing. 

And although his head is clearer, he’s been sleeping through most of the night, he still doesn’t sleep at his best without two bodies caging him in. He’s always too cold.

“When I can pay my own rent mum. I need to get something done.” He retorts, but he’s smiling when he swivels round to face her.

“You need to eat, is what you need to do.” She says, clicking her tongue. “Come on. Dinner’s ready.”

Michael doesn’t argue, just switches off the lamp and pulls on sweatpants before heading downstairs. His dad is already home and seated, table set and scrolling through what are probably his emails. He’s changed out of his work clothes, and Michael wonders how in the zone he must have been to not hear his dad’s return.

He claps him round the back as he takes a seat next to him, causing his dad to chuckle. Michael loves his parents so much. “How was work dad?”

“Good thanks. Glad it’s Friday.” He says with a yawn, thanking his wife as she places bowls of linguini in front of them both. “How’s the illustrating going?”

“Better than a few days ago. At least I have an idea going now. Hopefully I can get it done before the end of the week then go home and perfect it.”

“Good to hear, honey. I’m happy for you.” His mother says, smiling softly but her eyes are still worried. He knows the state he was in when he stumbled in late morning a few days ago, no word of warning with nothing but art supplies and a barely packed bag. 

“Really proud of you son.” His dad says, clapping him just like Michael did earlier except he nearly chokes on a mushroom. “Who knew you’d be so talented.” His dad winks, and Michael rolls his eyes before they settle into comfortable silence.

“I’ll do the dishes.” Michael offers when they’re all finished, both his parents sharing their Friday night bottle of wine.

Karen smiles gratefully. “Turn up the radio, will you bear?”

_“So you found out your boyfriend was in a relationship with someone else?”_

_“Yes I did.”_

_“But you didn’t tell him to call it off? Because you, for lack of better phrasing, started see the same girl too.”_

_“Yes I did.”_

_“Why?”_

_“I don’t know, it made sense. We all got on and it felt right.”_

_“To be in a relationship with two other people.”_

_“Polyamory isn’t as unusual as you’d th-”_

Michael cuts the female voice off, doesn’t even stop to question if the world is playing some sort of sick joke on him. He changes the station, pressing the button repeatedly while trying to steady his breathing. He stops at random.

“Honey why did you change it?” His mother asks, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

“I, uh, um-” Michael stutters, turning back to the dishes in the sink. “Thought we could listen to music instead. 8-10 slot is always really good for this station.”

Both his parents go quiet until his dad speaks up. “When did you start listening to smooth radio?”

“Helps my art,” is all Michael says before they fall into silence again. His parents continue to sip their wine, and Michael stares at the bubbles surrounding his hands wondering what he did to the universe to deserve that. 

All it does is serve a reminder to Michael that he’s a terrible person, and a terrible son. He feels bad, because he’s still not told them about his boyfriends and it’s been nearly three quarters of a year and he doesn’t know what to do. His parents are everything. His boyfriends are the best thing that ever happened to him. His mum is his best friend, and he can’t remember a time he didn’t tell her everything.

“Such a strange radio discussion. Definitely still too early for that talk.” His dad comments, and Michael only hums in response.

After the dishes are done, Michael doesn’t wait for his parents to start up new conversation before he legs it up the stairs. 

It’s not until he’s alone in his room that kind of regrets it. Honestly, he doesn’t want to be alone right now. Fate is trying to tell him something, clearly, and he needs Ashton and Calum to tell him that everything will be okay because he really doesn’t feel like it is.

Michael messages their group chat that hasn’t been used since he told the boys he’d arrived safely three days ago. He knows the ball is in his park, that they’re probably waiting for him to say something but he’s so afraid he’s messed up. He’s so afraid they hate him, and he’s so hung up on the fact that he hasn’t told him his parents. He needs his boys and their support but he’s not sure he deserves it.

**MGC ♡:** _i miss you both so much_

It’s only seconds before Calum replies, and it makes Michael’s heart stop. He’s so glad Calum’s not angry anymore.

**CTH ♡:** _miss you babe_

**AFI ♡:** _miss you more. know when you’ll be home yet?_

**MGC ♡:** _not sure_

**MGC ♡:** _i’m sorry._

**AFI ♡:** _it’s okay. we’ll be here_

**MGC ♡:** _i love you_

Michael tries not to take it too hard when neither of them reply. It’s late and probably that they’re getting ready for bed, or have settled in to watch a film since it’s a Friday night. He puts his phone away because fretting does nothing and doesn’t change the fact that he does love them both so much.

He works for the rest of the night, strangely at rest in his mind and manages to get some solid work done. Not without Calum and Ashton playing pinball in his mind, thoughts exploding through every time he manages to focus himself on his illustrations, which are actually coming together. Like, he has characters. Actual faces and bodies. 

He works until nearly 1am, and it’s not until his head slips off his arm to knock against the table that he decides to call it a night. It’s when he’s crawling into bed that he checks his phone and sees (2) unread messages from their group chat.

**CTH ♡:** _i love you too. and so does ash_

**CTH ♡:** _always so fucking weird without you._

And suddenly, Michael can’t breathe again. He doesn’t understand how he can have these two boys who love him so much, are always so kind and honest with him and he’s treating them like this.

**MGC ♡:** _are you awake? can we facetime?_

It takes nearly 10 minutes before Calum responds again.

**CTH ♡:** _ash fell asleep during movie night, but it was monsters inc so_

**CTH ♡:** _gimme a sec_

Calum calls nearly immediately. Michael answers the call straight away. The screen is black for a while but he can hear footsteps, and Michael gets comfortable in his bed whilst he waits, lamp on so Calum can see him. It’s a second before a light is switched on and the camera is millimetres from Calum’s face. Michael lets out a laugh, surprised and Calum’s face lights up with a smile as he moves it back. He stares back at Michael’s face, smile going soft.

“Sorry, just had to leave Ashton on the couch so we wouldn’t disturb him. You know how he gets.” Calum mumbles, keeping his voice low as he sits on what Michael knows is their massive bed.

“I do know.” Michael replies gently. He can’t help his next words, seeing Calum so ruffled with pink cheeks. “Miss you.”

“Miss you too. Things going okay?” Calum asks, leaning against the headboard.

“Better. My work is going somewhere which is always a good thing. Still missing you though.”

“Always a charmer Mikey.” The chuckle that leaves Calum’s mouth is full of warmth, and Michael is so happy to see Calum isn’t mentioning their last encounter, that he’s forgiven him.

“I can’t help it when you look like that. You’re all sleepy.” Michael whispers, and Calum’s cheeks warm even more than before though he rolls his eyes.

“I kind of fell asleep too. Pixar movies always put me to bed.” His eyes keep roaming Michael’s face on the screen like he’s searching for something. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?”

“I just. Something came on the radio today and I can’t stop thinking about it.” Michael says, sighing softly.

“What is it Mikes?” Calum’s face is worried. Michael is silent as he looks for the right words.

“Thinking about telling my parents. Or mum at least.” Michael knows he doesn’t need to specify what.

“Ah. Are you ready? It’s a big step.” Calum sits up straighter, opening up like he knows Michael needs all of his attention. Michael wishes they were having this conversation face to face. Seeing him pixelated on a screen isn’t enough.

“I want to do it. For you, for us.” Michael promises, voice soft.

Calum smiles sadly. “I want you to do it for you. You know we’re okay to wait until whenever you’re ready. It’s a huge thing to tell your parents. It was a little easier for us because our parents have known us both since we were young. You’re introducing two completely new people to them at the same time.”

“I feel like it’s time. No time like the present.” Michael tries to laugh but it falls short, and Calum gives him that look like he knows what he’s trying to do.

“It’s okay to be scared baby. We’re with you every step of the way.”

Michael hears a voice before he can reply, would know Ashton’s voice from a million miles away. _is that Mikey?_ Another face pops up on the screen, squishes against Calum’s and Michael feels his heart sink in the best way. That clenching, skin prickling and stomach fluttering feeling he always gets when he sees his two boys together. There’s no other feeling like it, and he’ll never get used to it. It makes him feel a little sick sometimes, how he’d give up everything for these two.

“Hey tiger, missing you loads.” Ashton rasps, sleep clouding his face. “What’s up?”

“Mikey wants to tell Karen.” Calum gets in first, helping Michael like he always does.

“Ah. Are you ready?” Michael chuckles at their identical response and nods. He doesn’t think he is, but he’s afraid they’ll convince him not to if he shows them how scared he genuinely feels.

“Don’t be frightened. I don’t know anyone who loves their bear cub more than your mum loves you. I promise it’ll be fine, okay?” He nods again, sighing shakily. It’s like they can read his mind.

“Okay. I love you both so much.” Michael promises, and he doesn’t think he’s meant anything more in his entire life.

“Love you too.” Ashton promises back, and Calum blows a kiss at the camera. Michael pretends to catch it.

***

The entire thing weighs Michael down until he’s physically exhausted. He takes the weekend away from his work so he can have fresh eyes, but more so a break. He spends the days walking around his neighbourhood and a few hours catching up with his elderly neighbour who used to look after him. It’s all very ordinary, and all he can think of is the conversation he needs to have that’s far from.

Michael won’t lie though, he’s not brave. 

Although he’s sure Calum and Ashton would tell him otherwise, he’s genuinely not. And he knows it’s weak, but he tells his mum two hours before he’s due to leave back for his apartment in the city. Whilst he has to hand in his graphics in by the end of the week, but he wants this out now.

He knows it’s not cool, leaving her to sit and stew with such a new and unfamiliar piece of information but he can’t bear the thought of staying in the house and her giving him these looks, like she’s confused but wants to be supportive. Or like she always does when he tells her something she doesn’t particularly understand. It’s like when he dropped out of college for art then refused to go to art school all over again.

“Mum.” Michael says when she’s back from work and prepping dinner in the kitchen. Michael notes he’ll be gone before it’s finished.

“Yes Michael.” She sounds distracted in that ‘I’m listening but not really’ kind of way, and Michael really can’t have that right now.

“I need you to listen.” He asks, but his voice is already begging. She only hums in response but it’s not enough, and Michael is already too close to hysterical to not have her full attention. “God mum, please concentrate this is important.”

She notes his tone, and her face is serious when she turns to look at him and drops the knife, wiping her hands on a towel. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong.” Michael replies, clenching his fists to stop the trembling. Her eyes drop to his hands and she frowns harder. Karen sits down opposite him, and tucks stray hairs from her fringe out of her face. “I just need to tell you something before I chicken out and lie to you.”

“What is it?” She asks, voice worried.

“I’m seeing some-”

“You are!” Karen exclaims, eyes wide and smile huge. Michael can’t handle this. He can’t even tell her to stop. “Oh I’m so happy, oh, come on and tell me all about them.” But Michael’s silent for too long clearly as his mother’s frown returns.

“You have to listen,” is all Michael says, rubbing his temples. “I’m seeing someone. Two someones.”

Karen frowns harder. Michael didn’t even think that was possible. He can practically see the cogs turning in her head, confusion lacing her features. “What do you mean?”

“Like, I- God don’t make me say it again.” Michael begs, but she doesn’t seem to understand. Michael groans, head falling into his hands. He needs to be blunt. “I have two boyfriends.”

“Two? Like, you’re cheating?” She huffs out, but Michael shakes his head, about to speak before she interrupts. “Or like that radio interview?”

Her eyes are wide again but Michael can tell this is pure shock because she knows that this isn’t a joke. She’s completely perplexed and Michael doesn’t blame her in the slightest. He can’t believe he’s saying it and he’s been living it for what feels like forever. He nods. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?” Michael says, because that’s not really what he expected her to say. He expected pacing and firing questions but not if he’s _sure_. “I don’t want you getting exploited here honey.” She confirms, and the blonde man grimaces.

“No one is exploiting me mum.”

“Are you sure?” She asks again, more worry lacing her features. “Were they in a relationship before you?”

Michael winces because this isn’t particularly playing to his favour. “Yes, but-” His mum starts to shake her head, standing up to face away and lean against the counter. “Mum. They’re not exploiting me. I promise. Then it would have been 9 months of exploiting which I’m sure is tedious.”

“9 months Michael!” She turns, arms in the air. He flinches at her raised voice. “Seriously?”

“Mum.” He begs, and she sighs before sitting back down. She grabs his chin, gently lifting it so he can look at her. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m just,” And Michael can hear the wobble in her voice. He closes his eyes because he can’t hear her like this and look at her too. “I’m surprised is all. More surprised that you didn’t tell me. You tell me everything. You didn’t even hint. I should have known you’ve been so shifty these last few months. I thought it was just work.” She rambles to herself, like she’s upset she’s missed something.

Michael feels like all he’s been doing recently is fucking up and apologising. “I’m sorry.” He says again anyway.

“Well, what’s done is done baby bear. I wish you’d told me earlier, maybe I could have helped somehow. But don’t apologise, it’s okay.” Karen reassures, pulling him forward so she can kiss his forehead.

“I was scared. So scared mum.” Michael’s voice is weak, holding back tears. He still is scared.

“You should never be scared to tell me anything. I don’t understand, and I don’t know if I believe this is any good for you. Or even what it’ll be like for you in the long term but it’s your life and I trust your instinct. You’re smart Michael. I want you to be happy. Are you happy?”

“Yes mum. So happy.” He promises, squeezing her hands still holding his face.

“And they won’t break your heart?”

“Never mum.” 

She nods, pulling back with a sigh. She nibbles her lip, staring at her only child. “That’s all I ask. What are their names.”

“Um, I-” Michael blushes, feels himself go red cheeked in seconds as he thinks about Ashton and Calum, his boys. No one else makes him happier.

“It’s those two boys isn’t it. The Ashton and Calum you’re always gushing on about.” Karen laughs when Michael smiles so hard he has to hide his face in his palms. “Gosh you’re living a romance novel aren’t you bear.” Michael wishes he could tell his mum to shut up but he doesn’t, just buries his face in her neck.

“Can we wait to tell dad?” Michael asks. He thinks one person is enough for now.

“Of course. I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

***

The next day, after he’s had an excessive amount of sleep, he spends all day drafting up the ideas he created to a better standard, and that makes him feel more on top of life. It’s a step closer to his meeting with Mr. Feldmann, and things are finally looking up; he no longer sees his art future falling into a deep dark non-existent hole. He could definitely be done in two or so days. He pulls out his graphics tablet to use later in the evening to experiment further, and he sighs gratefully at the world for being on his side again.

But despite his steps forward, his heart is still heavy. He hasn’t seen his boys. It’s barely been a week but they’ve said nothing since the facetime and he misses them so much. 

He hasn’t told them he’s home, let alone that he’s told him mum about them, and he doesn’t know why he’s so frightened again. Maybe it’s the vulnerability of having his mum know, or the fact that it’s all reality. That Ashton and Calum have Michael in the palm of their hands. He doesn’t know. But he drops them a text in group chat anyway.

**MGC ♡:** _i’m home. can’t wait to see you both._


	2. I'll admit that I'm a fool for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be shorter than the last part but ended up being longer, which is pretty much my life story when it comes to fic. either way i hope you like it, i had both a pleasure and nightmare writing it <3 and ofc warning for boys touching boys!
> 
> also a huge, huge thank you to both dani and aliisa for being a dream and listening to me shout about this, you guys are the only reason this even came to pass! ♡

Michael is a tad surprised when Alex calls him, pleading for them to hang out for the evening. It’s a sealed deal though when he promises to come over with dinner, pizza to be exact. Michael becomes useless and easily bribed when it comes to his favourite food. 

The entire afternoon he’d found himself reluctant to be distracted from work, especially as both Calum and Ashton had seemed busy, their replies slow on the group chat. He’d not mentioned much when they did message, only that his work was going well and wishing for death when he’d messed something up. He then proceeded to send countless links of cute animal videos because Calum always sent back cute voice notes while he watched them. Michael _almost_ feels like he never left. 

It’s no surprise that when Alex arrives Michael is still working away in his art room, and he moans from his seat on the couch where he left him ten minutes ago. “We haven’t hung out in ages Mike, you’ve been neglecting me. At least come and eat.” He begs, opening a still hot large pizza. It takes Michael about two seconds before he’s putting his graphic pen down and practically crawling out of the room in hunger.

Alex scrolls through the channels until he settles on reruns of How I Met Your Mother, and they alternatively pull away slices of pepperoni until there’s nothing left. It’s a comfortable quiet between them in a way Michael never really felt with anyone before Alex (apart from his parents), and has only felt with Ashton and Calum since. And he guesses Luke too but they spend far too much time butting heads.

Michael sighs at his stomach full, lies down across the couch with his legs in Alex’s lap. The older man snorts in faux annoyance but doesn’t move Michael’s feet, and the blonde snuggles happily into the couch. He could definitely stay here all night.

His phone vibrates on the table, and Michael picks it up to find another voice note from Calum. He won’t listen to it just yet, but he’s excited to hear Calum. He wonders if the feeling will ever stop at the prospect of hearing his boyfriend’s voice.

“Is that your boy?” Alex goads, and Michael rolls his eyes but ignores him. “Or should I say boyfriends?” The blonde glares this time, but the other man doesn’t break eye contact. 

Suddenly Michael doesn’t feel like Alex is joking, and this is territory they haven’t stepped into yet. Michael is reminded of the fact that he’s told no one bar his mum about his boyfriends, but it’s obvious that Alex may to have caught onto something.

“I don’t have boyfriends.” Michael responds as he eyes Alex wearily.

“Come on.” Alex retorts, and his voice sad. “Who are you trying to fool Michael?”

His heart plummets as he sits up, taking his legs off Alex’s lap. Michael directs his eyes back to the TV. He feels guilt more than fear rise inside of him, shrugs like it’ll shake the weight of the emotion off his shoulders. It doesn’t work. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Whatever.” Alex says, and Michael can hear the roll of his eyes through his voice. The air in the room changes, and Michael can feel Alex’s sore attitude start to roll off him in waves. Michael knows Alex has a strong mind and an even more distinct personality. It’s part of the reason they get on so well. Alex has always taken Michael and his insecurities under his wing to protect. He’s the older brother Michael never had, and he can’t deal with the thought he’s dented his heart; Alex has done so much for him. He owes him this much. 

But this isn’t something you simply come out with, and Michael knows Alex will understand that. He knows Michael better than most people. So he goes back to work in his art room, leaves the door open and tries to ignore that Alex keeps changing the channel between Adventure Time and a crime thriller on Film4 with poor acting. It’s distracting Michael grossly. He’s already feeling bad, and clearly Alex can’t concentrate either.

“Were you being serious earlier?” Michael calls, shuffling on his wheelie chair to the open door. He stays by the frame but looks at Alex when he turns his body to lean over the edge of the sofa.

“About what?” He replies, voice gently. He seems to have calmed down but Michael still feels bad.

The blonde sighs, playing with the hole at the knee of his jeans. “Me trying to fool you?”

Alex chuckles, shaking his head. “I know you Michael. They know you too but remember we’ve been friends forever. You wear your heart on your sleeve and I see how you are with them, even just messaging.” Alex shrugs as he trails off, meeting Michael’s eyes. “I saw how you were with them that time we all met. You were all over each other.”

“No way?” Michael yells, laughing a little to hide the nervous edge.

Alex shakes his head ignores his comment. He turns around properly, sitting on his knees so his whole body faces Michael who is still teetering between the two rooms. It’s fear that rises inside him now, watching Alex’s face read his own. “Do you think I’ll judge you?”

“Yes?” Michael says without any thought. The older man looks sad, shoulders dropping.

“Come on, Mike. Give me some credit.” He turns back around to face the TV, and Michael feels that same feeling when he told his mother washing over him again. Apparently he doesn’t give anyone credit.

“I’m sorry.” Michael says quietly, knowing Alex is still listening. He steps into the room properly, taking his spot on the couch again. “It’s still weird for me sometimes, thinking about it. I can’t imagine how other people feel. I just told mum and that was bad enough.”

Alex’s face goes soft as Michael speaks. “How’d she take it?”

“Better than I thought. But I think she’s calm because she doesn’t understand? Like she’s still trying to process it.”

“She loves you man. You didn’t have anything to worry about. You don’t have anything to worry about with me either.” Alex promises, squeezing Michael’s thigh and patting it for good measure. Michael smiles, pulling Alex in for a hug. He buries his head in his chest and holds on for a while, reminds himself how lucky he is to have all of these good people love him. He’s fortunate, and he feels even more so when Alex kisses the top of his head.

“Thank you.” Michael whispers.

A few minutes later his phone vibrates again. Ashton’s sent a snap of himself, smiling with the caption _send more videos of dogs kissing fish pls_ , followed by another, _send yourself here so I can kiss you pls_. Michael smiles and bites his bottom lip, doesn’t hide it even when Alex shoves him and calls him gross.

***

Michael is at his last tether when he finds himself awake much earlier than he needs to be. Alex left at nearly midnight so he’s barely slept, and lies there sadly wondering why he’s punishing himself. He’s lying alone in his own bed even though he’s been back for two nights. 

He still hasn’t seen his favourite people in the world. More than anything he wants to be there just as Ashton wakes up so he can sneak into bed, trying not to disturb the sheets because he knows Calum will still be asleep. And then he’ll proceed to beg Ashton to get back into bed so he can kiss him until the sun properly comes up. He can’t stop thinking about it.

By the time Michael’s lost his wits, he’s replayed Calum’s voice notes so many times he’s made himself sad. He misses them both so much, which is ridiculous because they are his boyfriends and he’s allowed to go and see them. He really should have already. 

It’s not even 8am when he leaves his house and hops into his car still half dead to the world. The part of him that is awake can’t wait to see his boys.

It takes a bit of time before anyone comes to open the door, but unsurprisingly it’s Ashton who lets Michael in when he knocks. Ashton’s wide eyed, eyes sparkling like he’s been awake for a while. Although that’s not what Michael notices. 

Michael’s eyes are glued to Ashton’s hair, which is wild but _wet_ , dripping down his bare shoulders and cascading down his chest. Now, he’s seen Ashton in his freshly showered state too many times to count, in fact he’s been in the shower with him to witness it happen. But Michael feels as though he’s gone and forgotten what a perfect specimen of a human his boyfriend is. Michael’s lost all form of speech.

“Mikey?” Ashton’s voice is a little breathless, like he’s surprised but not really, more just plain happy, and Michael’s still wordlessly staring at his beautiful boy.

Instead, the younger boy tackles him backwards and inside the house, blindly kicking the door shut. Michael is always really weak for Ashton. Especially in this state. Michael’s totally willing to just get him off right on the couch. Ashton stutters, surprised at Michael’s blunt force but laughs when he’s pushed down onto the couch.

“Would you open the door looking like this for everyone?” Michael whispers, nosing against Ashton still wet neck.

“Who else is knocking on the door at 7.50 in the morning?” Ashton chuckles, running a hand through Michael’s own hair.

“Fair.” Michael whispers, kissing down Ashton’s neck to his collarbones. “Please come back to bed.”

Ashton shakes his head. “I need to get ready for work, tiger. I’ve got to interview a new staff for Artisse at 9. Liam is leaving in a few days ago to go back to college. I need more baristas.” 

“Get Luke to do it.” Michael replies, pout on his face. Ashton stares at him for a little, but long enough that Michael gets a bit flushed under his gaze.

“Luke’s opening the shop today I can’t get him to do that too.” Ashton sighs, pushing up from the couch.

Michael follows Ashton into the kitchen a still hot cup of coffee waits for him. “What else did you hire him for?”

“Mikey.” The older man scolds, laughing softly into his cup. He sips, looking at the man in front of him again. 

“Stop looking at me like that.” Michael whines, hugging him from one side so he doesn’t knock the cup in Ashton’s other hand. Michael doesn’t care that Ashton is still damp, he’s just grateful to have him so close.

Ashton laughs, holding Michael around his waist with his other hand. He kisses his temple sweetly a few times. “I haven’t seen you in over a week.”

“I know, so please come and cuddle for a few minutes.” Michael begs, dragging the man towards their bedroom. He needs them all to be in the same room. “I missed you.”

“Only 5 minutes.” Ashton sighs, and Michael smiles in victory as he strips off his outerwear and printed top he’d slept in. He turns around as they enter the room, butterflies in his stomach as he looks at dark hair fanned out against the pillow, soft pink lips open just slightly. He’s not surprised to see Calum still curled up on the bed. 

Michael takes off his sweatpants and crawls in under Calum’s arm, places his head on his chest. Ashton follows, pressing right up against Michael’s back, and his heart flips at the realisation that he’s back where he belongs, closing his eyes. The younger boy sleeps like a log, doesn’t even flinch at Michael’s presence even though it’s been so long, but soon he feels kisses on the back of his neck, a hand playing with his hair. He turns his head to kiss Ashton’s fingers, doesn’t need to open his eyes to find Ashton’s hand, to know he’s home. He knows there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in bed?” Michael pleads, voice a gentle whisper. He doesn’t want to wake Calum.

“I really can’t this time babe. I would if I could,” but he indulges Michael anyway. 5 minutes ends up being 15, and Michael easily falls asleep still nestled against Calum’s chest.

***

When Michael wakes up, it’s to kisses being pressed all over his face. He groans softly at being woken up but still fond that Calum is absolutely elated to see him. He’s sad that Ashton’s already gone into work today, but Calum is already crawling on top of him and Michael wraps his arms around his narrow waist.

“I can’t believe I slept through you getting into bed.” Calum moans, eyes bright as he strokes hair out of Michael’s face.

“It’s okay, you looked so peaceful.” Michael shrugs, voice soft. Calum always makes him like this, gentle and a little meek.

Calum smiles, biting his lip. “I’m so happy you’re here.” 

Before he can reply, he notices something bright blue in the corner of his eye. He tilts his head to see a note on the bedside table that suggests a brunch to celebrate Michael’s return.

“Only Ashton would suggest brunch.” Calum says with a snort, and Michael chuckles his agreement.

“I’m so happy here with you.” Michael says, hopes Calum hears the apology in his voice. Michael is sure Calum knows that here is home for Michael, and knows just how important having both his boys is. Calum grins wider, smile lines appearing beautifully and Michael can’t bear the thought of looking away.

“I can’t believe it’s nearly midday. I’m so hungry.” Calum says, lifting the covers up and crawling out of bed. “I’ll go and shower. You can sleep a little more if you like.” Michael sighs as he sinks more into the sheets, snuggling into the pillow. Ten more minutes sounds like a dream.

“Thank you.” Michael mutters, but it sounds like muffled noise with his face buried in the pillows. 

He’s about to drift off again when he feels something solid land behind, bed dipping under it’s weight. He whines in response, turning his head to look at the object.

Calum’s in the doorway with a small smile when Michael’s hand escapes the blankets to retrieve the book. “I know you’ve been too busy to read but I read it this weekend and I thought it would be something you’d like. Kind of made me miss you.”

Michael’s face softens as he reads the author’s name. _Jack Kerouac._ “On the road. Looks good babe, thanks. I can’t wait to read it.”

“When you read it you can tell me what you think over coffee?” Calum asks as he heads to the bathroom, and Michael snorts as he falls back under the covers.

***

By the time Michael and Calum reach Artisse, Ashton’s busy showing a girl with short, bright blue curly hair something about the cash register so they don’t bother him. Instead, they find their usual table towards the back but by the window, and Luke quickly comes over when there aren’t any other customers.

“What can I get you?” Luke asks, no preamble necessary. Michael reckons he can probably see the hunger in Calum’s face.

“Everything.” Calum groans with his head on the table, but then sits up. “Ashton promised us brunch.”

“What’s brunch?” Luke asks, face confused. Both Michael and Calum stay quiet as they stare incredulously at Luke, who has also kept quiet since his question.

“You don’t know what brunch is.” Michael states coolly, voice deadpan.

Luke splutters, face warming up. “I- Don’t be silly I know what brunch is.” He retorts but shakes his head. “I mean what brunch, we don’t have a brunch menu.”

“Not our problem, we demand brunch.” Calum replies, slamming a fist on the table at the same time that Michael says “Ridiculous. Can I speak to your manager please?”

Luke rolls his eyes, walking away. “I’m not dealing with you.”

Both men laugh, Michael yelling about seeing the manager immediately until the man himself appears through the staff only door, holding two plates of steaming food. Michael goes quiet, and some regulars in the shop watching his debacle chuckle at his reaction.

“The manager is here with brunch. Will you be quiet now?” Ashton asks, putting plates of fry up in front of the two boys. Calum gasps so hard Michael thinks his heart might have stopped but then he pumps his fist gently.

“Fuck yeah,” Calum replies, even though he wasn’t making any fuss. He grabs the cutlery from Ashton’s hand while stuffing a slice of toast into his mouth. “Oh my god.”

“Good?” Michael asks sarcastically, laughing when Calum moans with his mouth full. “You’re gross.” Ashton kisses them both on their heads and leaves without another word, and Michael and Calum eat in comfortable silence, surrounded by the calm noises of other customers.

Calum takes their plates into the back when they’re both done, and sits opposite Michael while he pulls out his art materials. He doesn’t want to work today but he has no choice, as he plans to hand in his work to Mr. Feldmann tomorrow morning. There are finishing touches he needs to make. He’ll go home later and complete the rest but he needs to go through what he’s done so far. He’s grateful that Calum sees he’s busy, keeps silent as he reads a new book across the table. 

It’s not long after that Ashton brings them drinks and cookies, and when Michael takes a sip of his he practically shivers with how good it is. He hasn’t had this drink since they all started dating and Ashton always used to make them; no one made them better than he did. Michael blushes because it reminds him of the early days when everything was still so up in the air, and he can’t believe where they are now. 

“You haven’t baked for us in ages.” Calum says, surprised when Ashton drops the plate between them.

“Had some spare time after my interview today before we started her trial, so I thought I’d treat you both. And Luke. And the new girl Ashley. But you guys got the best ones.” Ashton replies, voice shy. The two men know how Ashton is with his baking even though they all know he’s absolutely incredible at it.

“Thanks baby.” Calum laughs, moaning around the first bite. “These are so goooood.”

Michael takes one for himself but stops, looking up at Ashton. “You haven’t made me an iced caramel latte in ages.”

Ashton shrugs, beaming sweetly. “Thought you might like it.”

Michael nods shyly. “I love you.” He says, and the older man bends down and kisses his forehead, pulls his chin up so he can kiss his mouth too. Michael doesn’t let him get away without another bruising kiss, and only lets him go because Luke calls Ashton over.

“Hey where’s mine!” Calum whines, smiles when Ashton fondly shakes his head and kisses him sweetly. Michael loves his boys so much.

“Ashton!” Luke calls again, voice exasperated. He can only imagine what it’s like having to deal with him when he’s so distracted, which is all the time when Michael and Calum are there.

Michael grabs Ashton’s arm before he leaves. “You should really promote Luke.”

“To what?” Ashton chuckles. 

“I don’t know, like, what do you need? An assistant manager? He’d be good at that.” Michael babbles because he doesn’t _know_. He’s never quite made it to manager before.

Ashton frowns, looking over to where the blonde boy is still waiting, the Ashley girl by his side. “He’s basically that already. He has keys.”

“Just give him the title, it’d be cute. He’ll be happy.” Michael fusses, pushing Ashton away gently.

Later, while he’s sketching, Michael can’t help the continuous quick glances up at Calum like he always does. Calum looks so beautiful in his element, lost in his reading, or even in the library where Michael finds himself all too often watching him file away books. He finds himself adding Calum’s little smile lines and randomly painted black nails to his main protagonist, darkening the eyes and softening pink lips. 

It’s not too far from his original idea, and thinking about it Michael can’t believe how similar his character is to Calum, but even more so now that he’s filling in the gaps. It’s not the first time he’s done little drawings for his boys but it’s the first time for something more professional. Michael can’t say he minds. His boys are his life and it’s not surprising they’re bleeding into each other.

It’s no surprise either that the other character starts to look progressively more and more like Ashton, and Michael rolls his eyes at how predictable he is. He looks up at Ashton changing the window displays, tucking a loose curl behind his ear the way Michael and Calum always fight to do leaving Ashton in giggles every time. The hair of his second main character becomes a honey blonde, a touch curlier. The eyes are greener and body broader, and Michael loves this. For the first time in a while he’s happy with the end product.

He keeps thinking of the little situations they’re always in, like when Calum sometimes steals Michael’s car to go to work, or when they tumble for who gets to sleep in the middle, and lets these images flow around his mind and emotionally into his work, and his hand doesn’t stop drawing the entire few hours until they close up shop.

“Mikey, let’s go.” Ashton suggests, rubbing the top of Michael’s back. 

The bleached blonde man only sighs in response, giving in easily, but Michael has to drive his own car back. He sits alone, following Ashton’s car and thinking relentlessly about all the additions he needs to make to make it perfect. He knows it will be. 

Michael doesn’t really remember any of the drive home. So it’s foreseeable that when they get home and proceed to make dinner Michael is quickly stuck to his pencils, flipping onto other pages to touch up all the new additions. Ashton brings him water as well as a cup of coffee, and he barely glances up in thanks but lets his head sink into Ashton’s soothing scratch behind his ears. Calum’s close behind, hand resting on his back instead. He’s so close, if he powers through he’ll finish soon, and he tells them as much when he starts to get tired. 

They sigh but don’t argue, bring his dinner to the study room and place it at the edge of the table. Michael doesn’t touch it until after the boys have retreated for bed but his brain is completely exhausted, and Michael doesn’t know how it’s nearly 1am. 

He’s happy though, knows he can take his creations into work tomorrow morning and Mr. Feldmann won’t have his head on a stick. He eats only half of the tomato pasta on his plate, and takes it to the kitchen, gulping down a tall glass of water. He’s tired and weak and he needs to sleep.

He tiptoes quietly into the room, and even though it’s dark he still knows where everything is perfectly. His eyes quickly adjust, and he can see as per usual a space behind Calum, because the younger man tends to cuddle towards the source of heat and attach himself accordingly. Michael smiles at how peaceful they both look, crawling in behind. 

He falls asleep almost instantly.

***

Michael definitely forgot to set his alarm, and he wakes up at nearly 9am. On a normal day he’d be irate because why is he awake so early? But he has a small heart attack when he glances at the alarm clock on the bedside table, because his meeting is at 10 and the boys live quite a bit further away than his own apartment. He tries to find clothes after his 3-minute shower while quickly brushing his teeth, rubbing at wet hair but not too hard so it doesn’t frizz. He doesn’t want to look ridiculous for his meeting, but he reckons he’ll pull on one of Calum’s snapback’s over his head anyway.

He eventually runs out of the room 15 minutes later, dressed in a soft khaki button down and trusty black jeans. He’s pulling on his boots while hopping closer to the study door, and Michael sees Calum and Ashton hovering around the desk both with coffees in hand. He stops short, bends down to tie his laces as he watches them gently flick through the pages. 

“I’m still so awed every time I see your work Mikey.” Ashton says, voice soft as he drags Michael close enough for him to kiss good morning. Michael blushes, surprised by how tender it is, lets his tongue brush Ashton’s as he licks the taste of coffee away. His stomach stirs so he buries his head in Ashton’s neck. He doesn’t want the kiss to end but he really can’t start that now. But in Ashton’s arms all he can think is how he’s missed this so much.

“Honestly.” Calum supports, placing his hand at the base of Michael’s neck. Michael shivers under the touch. “You’re incredible. Is this supposed to be…?” Calum’s voice trails away as he looks at Michael questioningly. Michael doesn’t say anything, just greedy for more kisses as he pulls Calum closer. He’s stuck between them when his lips collide with Calum’s, and ever the team player Calum wraps his arms around both of them, deepening the kiss and trapping Michael’s bottom lip between his teeth. Michael gasps at the feeling of Ashton’s soft lips on his neck, pulling away from Calum to tilt his head and give Ashton more room.

“I guess. It’s loosely inspired by you both, yeah.” Michael says softly, stepping from them both so he can gather the papers in order and drop them into his portfolio bag.

“Awesome. I’m fucking cool throwing around that machete!” Ashton praises, before asking. “Am I girl?” 

Michael giggles, shaking his head. “You’re not a girl. It wasn’t like, specified. So they’re neither. Or both. I’m not entire sure.”

“I like that.” Ashton says honestly, and Calum nods. They both beam at him, proud and Michael kisses them both again so they don’t have to look at him flustered under their gazes.

The blonde brushes past the two of them so he doesn’t get carried away in their kisses again. “I’ve got to go I’m so late. Have a good day!”

When Michael is off in his car, he’s thankful the whole drive that he encounters no traffic, and manages to make it to his publishing company with only 2 minutes to spare. Natalie is at the desk as usual, and smiles in greeting as he approaches her. They’ve seen a lot of each other over the last few months as Michael has been in the offices more than usual, and they’ve taken to each other fairly well. Michael appreciates the dry humour she lets loose while he waits for Mr. Feldmann, and he thinks she appreciates that he laughs at her commentary on office gossip. He’d definitely go out for drinks with her, and reminds himself to ask someday soon.

“You can head straight up,” she tells him, nodding towards the elevators. “Good luck, although I’m sure you don’t need it.”

“Thanks.” Michael flushes at the praise, tries to fan his red face so he doesn’t go into his meeting looking too ridiculous.

“Michael.” Mr. Feldmann says, nodding for the man to take a seat in front of his desk. “How are things?”

“Good thanks.” Michael responds, sliding the portfolio over. “This is for you.”

“Thank you.” He nods, a small smile taking over his face. “I’m sure the client will be glad to see this.”

Michael chuckles dryly, face turning a weak pink. “Are you going to open it? I know you’ve been waiting a while.”

Mr. Feldmann shrugs, before shaking his head. “I know you don’t like me doing it while you’re here so… but I can if you want?”

Michael stands up with a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his head. He thinks he’ll pass. “Nah, I’m good. I hope they’re okay, let me know if they aren’t.”

“When aren’t they?” The bright haired man replies, looking at Michael with questioning eyes.

“There’s always a first.” Michael says, pushing the chair under the desk as he makes his leave. Their meetings are always so short. Michael thinks that’s probably more his fault, always ready to leave as soon as he’s handed anything in.

“You’re unnecessarily modest, Michael. Your talent is unlimited.” Mr. Feldmann sighs, shooing Michael off with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about this at all. Have a good day, son.”

“Thanks, you too.” Michael says, hoping he can’t see his face warming more and more. Even as Michael goes down in the elevators, he has to will his usually pale face to stop failing him, fanning his face with his hand.

Michael’s entire morning has pretty much been people he appreciates singing his praises. As he drives back to his own apartment, he finds himself slowly coming to terms with the fact that there will be times that he’ll doubt himself and his abilities, and that it’s okay when it does happen. He’ll not always have inspiration, and if that’s ever the case again he’s positive he’ll discover it in his boyfriends. 

It leaves him feeling the most peaceful he has weeks. He falls asleep as soon as he gets back to his place, stripping his clothes on his way to his room and naps well into the afternoon. 

***

He goes to visit Calum at the end his library shift. He’s bored after he wakes up having nothing to do for the first time in a while, and after a poorly made cheese toastie for lunch he drives down to see if Calum will entertain him.

It makes his heart swell that Calum is so surprised to see him, eyes lighting up when Michael finds him down the science fiction isle. He has a trolley of books beside him, and after looking behind Michael he sneaks in a teasing kiss. Michael really wants to take Calum home.

“How did it go?” Calum asks, pushing a book onto the shelf.

“Well I left before he looked at them, so.” Michael says, and Calum laughs quietly.

“I’m happy it’s done though, you look brighter already.” Calum says, and Michael looks down shyly. “Want anything to celebrate? Pizza? A new book to read?”

Michael shakes his head. “Just want you.” 

Calum rolls his eyes this time but gives Michael another chaste kiss. “I’m nearly done here, then we can go home?” 

Michael nods, taking a seat at the back of the library when Calum’s manager comes snooping. She knows him and Ashton well enough but Michael would rather not get him in trouble, so he stays out of the way. It’s not even 10 minutes when Calum arrives, backpack hanging off his shoulder to drag Michael out to the car. They drive home with A Day To Remember blaring out of the speakers, and Ashton gets home not too long after with groceries to make dinner with. He kisses Michael as a greeting.

“Did it go okay?” He asks, pulling a huge bag of pasta from the paper bag.

“I hope so.” Michael replies, and Ashton nods in reassurance.

Calum mostly watches whilst the two older men set to making Michael’s favourite Macaroni Cheese, Michael chopping up onions. He holds a wet wooden spoon in his mouth, and when it starts to wobble Calum runs to his rescue to slip it back in, wheezing with laughter. Michael ends up crying anyway, which only makes Calum laugh more and Michael ends up running to the bathroom across the hall when it gets too much.

While the pasta cooks they have a beer each, sipping slowly so they still have space for food. They’re mid-conversation when Ashton disappears outside, bringing in delicious looking chocolate cake from the car a few minutes later. “Completely forgot about it.” Ashton giggles, placing it on the centre island.

“As if you baked a cake.” Michael teases, wrapping an arm around Ashton’s waist in thanks.

“It’s been a tough few weeks.” Ashton shrugs, and Michael nods. He knows it has. “I thought it deserved cake.”

“Thanks babe.” Michael says, hopes the gratefulness and apology in his voice is clear.

They don’t eat the cake until they’ve stripped and hopped into bed after dinner, and Ashton hands out the three creamy slices he’s cut with forks and napkins with the plate like they’re still in the coffee shop. Michael wants to tease him but he doesn’t, kisses his cheek instead. They don’t plan to get back out of bed again even though it’s only a little after 9pm, silently agreeing to have an early night.

The lamp is still on and they’re lying quietly while Calum flicks through pages of his current novel, Ashton’s reading glasses on his face. Michael’s in the middle, and he’s restless while he thinks of the best way to start this conversation without killing the mood.

“I told mum.” Michael blurts directly, face buried near Calum’s bicep.

“Seriously?” Ashton’s voice is genuinely surprised, and Michael’s not sure what to make of that. He told them he was going to tell her. Michael lays flat on his back so he’s touching them both, squashed between the two men.

“Seriously.” Michael retorts, slightly unnerved. Ashton drops a kiss to shoulder, and Michael relaxes instantly.

“Proud of you baby. Did she take it okay?” Ashton continues as Calum dog ears his book, even though the library hates it and puts it down. Calum’s hand immediately goes to Michael’s face, stroking his jaw.

“Yeah, yeah she did.” Michael nods. He couldn’t have expected much more. “Can we facetime her tomorrow? I think she’d like to meet you both.”

“Of course we can. I can’t wait babe.” Calum promises, kissing Michael’s chin. Calum leans down to sucks a small bruise into his collarbone, just a small sign of affection exactly where Michael loves them most. The pale boy sighs out softly, pulling Calum closer so he can wrap his arm around his waist. He’s tired, really tired now that he’s so comfortable in bed, full of food and love and he falls asleep with the only weight on him being Calum on his chest and Ashton’s arm around his stomach.

***

Michael gripes groggily, shaken awake in a way that’s definitely not natural. 

He’s quickly coming to though, recognising the weight of Calum’s body pressing back against him, and it’s too practised not to be deliberate. He turns his body towards him, tries to dig his fingers into Calum’s hips to get him to behave but the dark haired boy doesn’t let up. He only ruts harder now Michael’s awake, whines out a soft noise. Calum’s skin is warm beneath his fingertips, and Michael’s breath is shaky as he exhales.

It’s nowhere near the first time Calum’s done this, waking up late into the night with incessant and insatiable needs that only Michael and Ashton can fulfil. And there’s usually no stopping him. Calum like this is Calum on a mission, grinding his ass against Michael like his life depends on it. Michael’s cock stirs with interest in his underwear, and he doesn’t know how anyone could ever deny him when he gets like this. 

The feeling is all too familiar, pleasure starting to spike through him and he’s not even trying to halt Calum’s movements anymore, rocking forward as Calum ruts back. They jerk an innocently sleeping Ashton awake, who wastes no time moaning unhappily at the disturbance. 

But then Calum does that thing where he says Ashton’s name, voice breathy and so needy that always makes Ashton bite his lip and give in, every single time. 

“What are you doing?” Ashton asks, voice rough with sleep like he doesn’t know, but he pushes the sheets further away from them to the bottom of the bed. Michael shudders at Ashton’s tone, already commandeering and Calum slows his movements down, both of them succumbing to Ashton sitting up over them. The older man runs his hands down Michael’s thigh and then up over Calum’s, both of them shivering at the touch. “Calum, we were sleeping before you started this.”

He breathes out a laboured breath. “I know. I- I know.”

“What do you need?” Michael asks, lips pressing against Calum’s neck. Calum tries to turn his head to initiate a kiss but Michael pulls back, shaking his head. Ashton tuts quietly and Calum bites his lip as he looks between them, body already quivering. Michael can’t believe how easily Calum falls apart under their watch.

“Michael asked you a question Cal. What do you need?” Ashton says, allowing his hand to reach over to Calum again. Calum’s body reacts instantly, turning to lie on his back so Ashton can graze a hand across his chest, stomach clenching as his fingers move lower and lower. Calum’s mouth opens but snaps shut when Ashton brushes his clothed dick, his eyes falling shut. 

“I bet I know what you need.” Michael suggests, watching Calum mewl as Ashton pushes a finger between under Calum’s underwear. “Want my mouth?” 

Calum nods, his eyes still closed but his teeth tug on his bottom lip as his hips chase Ashton’s hand. “Yeah.”

“Where?” Michael rasps, hand pushing Calum’s thighs further apart. Calum moans, tilting his head back and Ashton breathes out a shuddering breath behind him. He can only imagine what they must look like. “Want me to eat you out don’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah please.” Calum admits, and Ashton moves back to allow Michael to move between Calum’s long, brown legs. Michael won’t lie, this is one of his favourite places to be, head bracketed between Calum’s limbs and he wastes no time in stripping the younger man of his dark grey underwear. “Fuck.” Calum groans, merely in anticipation of what’s to come as Michael grabs handfuls of the man’s round ass. Michael places a chaste kiss on each one, before sucking a bruise into his left cheek, gripping the right tightly. Calum’s above him, panting out breaths until Michael can’t hear him anymore, only the sounds of wet kisses. He glances up from his position to see Ashton has moved so he’s lying next to Calum, a hand around the back of his head as he coaxes Calum’s mouth open. He curls his tongue in the way Michael knows first-hand would make anyone’s knees weak. 

Michael’s got a job to do though, and he pushes Calum’s legs up and apart so they’re planted on the bed. Calum’s hips twitch in response, and Michael slaps his sensitive thigh gently. “Stay still, yeah?”, he whispers before planting a kiss there. Calum nods, always wanting to be good for Michael, for them both, and resumes kissing Ashton greedily. 

The blonde boy doesn’t have any desire to tease Calum right now, just spreads his cheeks apart and licks fast and sweet over his asshole. Calum’s entire body locks up, a high whine leaving his throat as his head falls back into the pillows. Michael hums in response because he knows exactly how Calum likes it, relentless and wet, but loves when Michael’s tender with him too. He grabs Calum’s hand from its grip on the sheets below them, and brushes his thumb over his pulse point. Calum squeezes back, breaths irregular as Michael circles his tongue as best he can with one hand.

Michael feels a soft grip in his hair, pressing his face harder into Calum’s ass and he knows it’s definitely Ashton. He breathes deep through his nose, sucking delicately and Calum’s heel presses against the top of Michael’s back.

“Missed this, your mouth, you’re so fucking good.” He murmurs, back arching from the bed. Michael pulls back, rubs a finger over his wet hole, spreading it open so he can dip his tongue inside.

“Mikey,” Calum whines, voice laced in pure bliss as Michael fucks his tongue in quick, but he pulls back just as Calum’s hips start to stutter, spits on his hole and pushes the tip of his finger in. 

“ _Fuck,_ stop, please.” Calum pleads softly, “don’t wanna come yet.” Michael blows coolly on Calum’s hole, watching as his ass pushes back against Michael’s finger. The older man only chuckles in response, pulling his finger away gently. 

Calum’s still panting desperately, and Michael turns to leans over him so he can sneak a kiss with Ashton. Ashton’s always so demanding with his kisses, leading them and coaxing for more. Michael gasps into the older man’s mouth. Ashton’s hand strokes his hip and he groans, pulling Michael down closer so he can trail his mouth down over his jaw, nipping at the spot just below Michael’s ear.

“Wanna look after you.” Ashton promises, breathless. Michael sighs, feeling Calum’s breaths slow against his neck and Ashton’s fingers drag up his spine. He shivers at feeling of both of them on his body.

“Yeah?” He whispers.

“Yeah. Can Cal get you ready?” The _for my cock_ goes unsaid but it’s clear as day that Ashton wants to fuck him. Michael can always tell, and it fucks him up that he can read that from just Ashton’s darkening eyes and his hands on his body. “I love watching you both.”

Neither of them wait for a response, Calum moving so Michael has space to lie down. They’ve just swapped places, except Michael’s practically in Ashton’s lap who is laying behind him, and Ashton’s got easy reach of Michael’s upper body. He starts sucking a bruise into Michael’s neck, the younger tilting his head so Ashton has more room. He whimpers, feeling teeth graze over his flushed skin.

“He’s not stopped talking about you.” Calum teases, pulling lube out of the bedside drawer. Michael tries to keep his breaths even as he pulls his own underwear off, but he’s suddenly remembered that he’s not had sex for a while, over two weeks which is the longest he’s gone since their first time together. He’s not had their fingers for so long, or their dicks, and the anticipation of feeling Calum stretch him open makes his stomach tighten with need. “Even when he was fucking me I knew he was still thinking about what he’d do with your ass if you were here. Isn’t that right?”

Ashton’s dick twitches and slaps against Michael’s thigh when he takes his boxers off, and both of them moan out wantonly. Michael’s hand moves lower, and though the angle is awkward he grips Ashton’s thick cock, red with need even though he has barely been touched. Michael bites his lip at the thought of where it’ll be soon. “Yeah,” Ashton says, sucking another bruise at Michael’s shoulder that has him writhing. “Missed you so much Mikey. Love it when you’re both here.” 

Michael’s stomach drops, hips arching as he spreads his legs for Calum. He’s covered two fingers in lube, and Michael gasps needily. Calum rubs his stomach, avoiding his warm, leaking cock completely, spreading lube over Michael’s hole with his index finger. 

Michael tries to keep a steady pace on Ashton’s cock, leaking precome on his hand while he’s trying to get used to the feeling of Calum. “Not been the same without you. Can’t wait to fuck you. Bet you feel so good.” Ashton’s voice is soft over the other indecent sound filling the room, and Ashton soon has to bat his hand away when he gets too much. Michael’s hand is wet, and it makes his blood hot to think that touching Ashton makes him leak like that. He can’t wait to have it inside him.

Michael’s head is far away by the time Calum finally pushes a finger in, and Michael’s body reacts desperately, pushing back against it. “He’s tight as fuck Ash.” Calum whispers, and Michael lets out a choked noise.

Ashton’s leaking still on Michael’s thigh, and the feeling of them both on him is pushing him towards the end far too quickly. The curly haired man leans down to kiss him, Michael whining into his mouth before sliding their tongues together. “Shit, Cal.” Michael voices as Calum works his finger in and out steadily, his body squirming. “Missed this so much, feels good.”

Calum soon adds another finger, knows Michael can take it when his hips starts rolling back and it’s unreal, the feeling of being so full again after so long. “So good, _so good_.” The blonde man whines, hips rocking against the solid rhythm of Calum’s hand. The pace is torturous, and Calum drizzles more lube on his hole before fucking in his fingers quicker. He’s soon stretching Michael on three fingers, and his breath hitches as he clenches on the digits, his eyes rolling back. “I’m gonna fucking come.”

“Yeah? Come then.” Calum teases, smiling as he curls his fingers and Michael’s body shudders underneath him. Ashton rubs a hand on Michael’s soft belly, fingers coating in Michael’s precome that’s covering the man’s stomach completely, but doesn’t touch his red, straining dick. Michael could cry with how well Calum’s fucking him, fingers soaked so much the sounds are unrelenting and he’s brushing his prostate perfectly. But he always wants _more_.

“Wanna come with Ash inside me, please.” Michael begs, voice cracking.

Calum hums, doesn’t stop the movement of his hands stroking inside his boyfriend. He slows his fingers a little, scissoring them and Michael’s dick jerks at the stretch. He’s so close to the edge. “Will you come again?” Ashton questions, watching the space where Calum’s fingers disappear into Michael with lust in his eyes.

And Michael’s too close now, rambling curses because he needs to come. He can’t stop the words or desperate noises that are falling out of his mouth as his fingers twist into the sheets below him. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it, I’ll come again, please.” He blabbers incoherently. All he needs is a little more.

“Squeezing my fingers so tight babe, let go for us.” Calum breathes, curling his fingers once more, pressing insistently against Michael’s spot and his orgasm vibrates out of him, come covering his entire chest. He cries out the whole time, feels it in his toes as his mind goes black. Ashton has to kiss him through it so he’ll keep quiet just in case of the neighbours, body alight as he tries to breathe properly. Calum is gentle as he nudges his fingers out, rubbing Michael’s ass and trembling thighs before placing a chaste kiss like Michael did for him earlier.

“Well done baby.” Ashton praises, kissing his temple and then his mouth again. “Do you need a break?” And Michael probably does, but they all know he kind of loves being fucked until he’s sensitive, begging for relief. He’ll be fine.

He shakes he head. “Go quick please.” Michael’s hand goes to his dick, keeping himself hard even though he’s sensitive as hell. He turns around, ass in the air and face down on the pillow. Ashton’s hands roam over his ass, and Calum comes to sit by his head. He kisses Calum’s hip, burying his face against the sheets. “Need you now.”

Ashton’s dick is pressing against his hole in seconds, and Michael’s about ready to beg. “Yeah, still desperate to come on my dick? Still thinking about Calum’s fingers fucking you?”

“Fuck, fuck.” Michael rasps, muffled against the pillow as Ashton’s cock fills him, inch by inch. It’s so good, every ridge so familiar and yet he still can’t fucking breathe. “You feel so big. Still feels ridiculous every time.”

Calum strokes his back, kissing his face sweetly. Michael reaches up to kiss him properly but Ashton moves so slowly, fucking his dick gently so Michael can adjust. He’s so overcome with how full he feels he muffles his moans into the pillow instead. He’s too sensitive, doesn’t trust himself to speak. He’s letting out these little gasps every time Ashton moves, desperate for more but it’s already too much.

“Are you okay?” Ashton asks breathlessly, clutching tightly to pale hips and slowing his movements even more but pushing in deeper. Michael only tightens around his cock, eyes screwing shut with how hot he is all over. He rolls his hips, keening as Ashton pulls out and fucks into his hole increasingly quick.

“Please,” is all he says, and Michael doesn’t even know what he’s begging for, just needs someone to give him something, for Ashton to fuck him properly. And Ashton does, pushing Michael’s shoulders down lower so he can push in faster, the sound of skin on skin filling the room as Ashton slams his hips forward at a pace that leaves Michael unable to catch his breath. He wants to cry out but he can’t even do that, he loves that Ashton’s using him like this.

He pushes up as best he can, takes Calum’s dick in his hand and pumps in time with Ashton’s thrusts. Calum whimpers desperately, fucking into Michael’s fist and the man can’t handle the overwhelming pleasure from touching both his boys, blood pumping rapidly in his ears. 

“You’re filling me up so well, holy shit.” Michael breathes out when Ashton slows down, pulls Michael’s hips back onto his dick, letting Michael work himself to his climax.

“Feel insane Mikey. So perfect around me, like fucking velvet.” Ashton pants, changing the angle and he finds Michael’s spot instantly, like he knew where it was all along but didn’t give Michael that luxury until now. Michael starts to shake so much under Ashton’s ministrations that his grip relaxes on Calum’s dick, who moves to start to jerk Michael’s dick exactly the way he knows will make Michael lose it.

Michael lets out the most obscene noise, breath hitching when Ashton’s thrusts and Calum’s hand leave him vibrating with pleasure. “ _Fuck_ , it’s so good, you’re so good to me. Right ther-”

“Yeah, giving it to you just right, aren’t I?” Ashton breathes out, and Michael nods desperately, sweat beads of rolling down his back. “Gonna come for me and Cal?” 

“Mhm, don’t stop, please don’t stop.” Michael rasps, whimpering at every thrust of Ashton’s hips. He’s losing it so quickly, pushing backwards every time Ashton fucks forward, and he pulls Calum down to press their mouths together as Michael gasps for breath.

“Wanna see you Mikey,” Ashton begs, that’s enough for Michael to let out a sob as he comes again weakly over Calum’s fist, panting out Ashton’s name like a chant. Ashton fucks him through it, prolonging waves of pleasure as Calum’s smears the seed on Michael’s stomach. He’s too tired to respond to that, is increasingly becoming oversensitive. He whimpers Ashton’s name, knowing the curly haired man will know what he’s trying to say.

“Can’t believe how tight you are Mikey.” Ashton says, and Michael tightens around Ashton’s dick one last time before the older man pulls out, watching his hole as he clenches helplessly. Ashton groans softly, and Michael can’t believe how good he looks like this when he turns around, dick practically ready to bust and his stomach tensing with the speed he’s pumping, thumb pressing against the slit every time his fist comes up. Michael lets his weak body sink to the bed, and watches his two boyfriend’s kiss greedily.

“You’ve been so good haven’t you baby?” Ashton praises, guiding a fraught Calum down against the pillows again. “Michael’s come twice and you’re still here waiting. Such a sweet boy.” Ashton watches lustfully as Calum lays back on the bed leaning on his elbow. The dark haired boy pumps his own dick, bright pink at the tip and begging for release, but Ashton chokes out a surprised gasp and gets there first with his eyes shut tight and mouth open, his dick pulsing as come lands on Calum’s neck and chin. Calum’s name slips from his lips, and the younger man below him squirms in need, desperate for release. 

As soon as Ashton’s body begins comes down he wastes no time and pulls Calum closer by his thighs, locking his arms around each one. Michael can still see his limbs trembling a little as he kisses Calum’s hip, digging his nails into soft thighs before taking all of Calum’s dick down in one go, and Michael’s in disbelief over how good Ashton is, always taking care of them. “Shit. Feels so good Ash.”

“You look so good Cal, can’t believe how gorgeous you are like this. So weak for it.” Michael whispers, fingers playing in Ashton’s come on his chest. He leans down, picks some up on his tongue and swirls it around Calum’s hardened nipple. Calum whimpers in pleasure, hand grabbing Michael’s hair.

“I’m so close.” Calum mewls, eyes rolling back. He’s waited so long for this, and Michael pets him knowing he needs the comfort. Ashton’s bobbing his head, swallowing around Calum so perfectly as his tongue swirls around the head, and Michael loves Ashton so fucking much, watching him work away like this.

Michael slips a hand between Ashton’s chest and Calum’s hips, tapping Ashton’s cheek until he comes up back up. He looks at Michael, who presses two fingers against Ashton’s lips. He sucks on them greedily, wetting them nicely and Michael slips his fingers between Calum’s legs who moans even before Michael goes in with two fingers. Calum’s hole is so relaxed from Ashton’s mouth on his dick and Michael’s relentless teasing with his tongue earlier that there’s barely any resistance, and Michael praises Calum. “Look at you, Cal.” 

“Holy shit,” Calum groans and his body shudders, arching off the bed and Ashton presses his hips back down, hungrily going back down and sucking on the head. Michael doesn’t move his hand so as not to disturb Ashton’s fluid rhythm, saliva running down Calum’s ass and over Michael’s fingers. He just strokes Calum’s prostate until he’s sobbing and shivers violently, coming down Ashton’s throat so hard no sound leaves his mouth. Michael’s cock stirs again just watching.

“You’re both fucking incredible.” Michael whispers, pulling his fingers out. Ashton kisses his agreement on Calum’s stomach, watching as the boy breathes heavily, thighs still shaking.

“You’re fucking incredible.” Calum says, but he’s still out of breath and it just sounds like huffing. Michael laughs, and seeing as he’s the most recovered he goes to stand up to retrieve something to clean them up with. He’s overestimated himself though, and his legs nearly give way underneath him as he tries to hold up his body.

“You okay there?” Ashton chuckles, reaching out like Michael might still fall over.

“Shut the fuck up.” Michael gripes fondly, no heat behind it. Both of them laugh as he heads to the bathroom, coming back and cleaning them up as best he can. Calum’s pretty much asleep by the time he’s done, and Michael snorts at the fact he was the one who woke them up in the first place. Ashton resumes his place and spoons behind Michael again, pressing a last kiss to his hair.

“So good for us, tiger. Love you,” Ashton whispers, and Michael flushes under the praise before they both follow Calum’s example into a restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i wrote three dicks lmao. there will be an epilogue uploaded on friday sometime, it won't be very long at all but expect a cute lil thing anyway <3
> 
> my [tumblr](http://airplenes.tumblr.com/) if you need to shout at me :')


	3. Because you're mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i loved writing this, and i hope you loved reading just as much! i think this is done for now, but maybe one day if i'm feeling productive i'll write another part <3 until then :')

*** _3 months later_ ***

It’s not completely unusual for Michael to wake up to an empty bed. 

They’re always on slightly different schedules, Ashton waking up the earliest and Calum working various shifts, so it really depends on the day. Michael wakes up when he feels like it, which is usually with one of the two men, sometimes none. But it doesn’t make it any easier, feeling the cool sheets surrounding him rather than warm arms and strong bodies. He’s sad, and he misses his boys even now. His ass is a little sore from the night before, and he’s covered in hickies but it only makes his stomach stir, butterflies fluttering as he goes in search of them in the house. 

The bathroom is empty but steamy so he assumes at least one of the boys is still home. He’s glad, because he wants a cuddle so he trots down the stairs half asleep. He’s elated when he hears the two familiar voices, but he realises it’s quite clearly hushed conversation, and Michael thinks he maybe isn’t supposed to hear what they’re talking about.

To an extent, he’s grateful that they were trying not to wake him up. However, at the same time Michael hates being out of the know. He doesn’t do well with feeling left out, and more than anything he’s just nosy so he follows the voices into the kitchen. He sees his favourite morning sight, both boys leaning against the counter, mugs in hand. 

Ashton spots him first, his mouth snapping shut mid-word, and Calum turns to look over his shoulder before letting his words trail off too. He smiles regardless, genuine and soft.

“Morning, tiger.” Ashton lilts sweetly, and Michael almost forgets that their conversation has come to a staggering halt with the tone he uses. _Almost_.

“Morning,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“Mikey,” Calum sighs, like that’s not where this conversation was supposed to go, and Michael’s face drops to a frown. 

“Was it about me?” Michael asks, and it sounds so petulant he’s slightly embarrassed.

Calum sighs again, looking over at Ashton who takes another sip of his coffee like he doesn’t want to speak. “Yes, but. It’s not bad, I promise. It’s kind o-” 

“We want to ask you a question.” Ashton interrupts, and Michael can see that the man has an unusual look on his face. It’s foreign. Michael thinks it’s nervousness and it looks so out of place on the tanned man.

“Do we? I mean we haven’t finish-” Calum starts but Ashton shakes his head.

“We want you to move in.” Ashton blurts out, shrugging his shoulders. Calum’s jaw drops, eyes widening as he puts his coffee down on the counter. He stares at Ashton incredulously before turning to look back at the other man.

Michael’s face is blank. “Is that it?” He says, a little confused. It isn’t particularly whisper-worthy conversation, Michael thinks.

“Cal’s saying that it’s ridiculous to ask because you basically live here anyway. Apparently there’s no point? But you still pay rent for your apartment so, you know. Technically you don’t really live here.” Ashton rambles like he didn’t hear Michael’s question, staring at Calum like he needs support. He looks over at Michael at the end of his speech, who still looks completely unfazed.

“I mean, I’d never thought about it.” And well, that’s a lie, because he had thought about what it would be like to come home to Calum and Ashton every day, and wake up with the same bed, but then he started doing it anyway. He’s not really thought about it since because it already happens. “I mean, Cal’s kind of right.”

“See? Mikey sleeps there like, once a fortnight and it’s usually when he’s working. I think it’s more like, move all your stuff here, rather than him go and get stuff when he needs it.” Calum nods like he’s right, and smiles over at Michael who finally shows some sign of life when he returns it. Michael loves them so much, seeing his boys smile is enough for him forever.

“So you’ll move in?” Ashton asks, voice shy. 

And it’s then that the weight of what they’re asking really hits him. Like a ton of cement. And bricks. This is a serious step in their relationship, Michael can’t help but think. This house has in the back of his mind always been Calum and Ashton’s, even though he sort of calls it home. It’s a _huge_ step.

It’s all a bit official for him, and he stumbles towards them on the other side of the kitchen for human contact. He needs to touch them

“You want me to? Seriously? It’s not even been a year.” Michael says, breathless. He leans against Ashton’s side, staring between both of them.

“It’s one year in less than a month Mikey.” Ashton says it like it’s tomorrow, full of glee but also reproach, and it makes Michael smile as he reaches for his hand. Michael’s fits into his a like a glove, and they both squeeze at the same time. He leans forward to press their foreheads together; one whole year. He can’t believe it, and he presses his mouth against Ashton’s to ground himself. He swipes his tongue against Ashton’s soft bottom lip, pulls away as his stomach flips with need when Ashton makes a tiny sound in delight.

“And what about any of this is conventional?” Calum says, pulling Michael to his front. “We want you here all the time Mikey. Come and clutter our space even more with your art shit.”

“It isn’t shit.” Michael giggles when Calum presses a tender kiss underneath his jaw, and Michael drags Ashton closer gently so he doesn’t spill his coffee. He huddles them in together, wrapping an arm around the older man’s waist so he can kiss him sweetly again. “But I’ll move in. Of course I will.”

“Yes. Best morning ever.” Calum whispers, dragging Michael in for a kiss as soon as he pulls away from Ashton. Calum’s kisses are so gentle, innocent in a way Calum always manages to be outside of their bed. They’ve both got coffee on their tongues but Michael can’t imagine he’s fairing much better. Michael also can’t imagine having it any other way, and he’s going to have to agree. Definitely the best morning ever.

“Also, I promised Karen we’d skype her tonight.” Calum says, pulling away from the circle to wash his and Ashton’s coffee cups. “She’s said we’re neglecting her.”

“When did you speak to mum?” Michael asks, incredulous. “I haven’t spoken to her in nearly a week!”

“See, neglect.” Ashton says with a laugh, pulling on his coat and picking up the car keys. He blows kisses at Michael. “See you later! Please don’t sleep all day Mikey.” 

Michael rolls his eyes, moaning in response. “I never sleep all day.”

“We didn’t see you until 8pm last night babe.” Calum laughs, pulling him into a last tender kiss before following Ashton out of the room. Michael’s hot on their heels even though they’re heading out of the house, and hangs out of the front door as they hop in the car and wave goodbye. They’re off soon after, and he watches them drive away before trailing back into the quiet house, locking the front door and heading back to bed.

The bed is bare and cold without them here, but Michael falls asleep knowing that he’s truly home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://airplenes.tumblr.com/) xxx


End file.
